he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
