wake up i wanna do it froggy style
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize