I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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