brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
