If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
