Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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