If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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