Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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