I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
