I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
