If that was your dad, he is hot
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
