talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
People in love make me want to vomit
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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