i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Help. Why am I so naked?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
