I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
