would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
