This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
