dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
