Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
