She's JV to your varsity
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
