Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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