He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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