Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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