HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
