I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
