Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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