capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
