we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
