this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
