I think scott just propositioned me for sex
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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