That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
