So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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