he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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