Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
