You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
