STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
