Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
