I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize