oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
