My room smells like vodka and shame
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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