But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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