a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
