dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize