I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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