She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
