I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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