i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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