i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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