Green mimosas i think yes
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
