My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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