if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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