You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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