Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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