I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize