Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
