Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
