he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
