I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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