Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
