Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
