What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
