"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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