i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
