I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My vagina is very pro this idea
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
