There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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