So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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