Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
