Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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