Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
