I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
