I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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