Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
