My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
