The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
